No report on the rogue's gallery in the Human Resources dept of B. Barer & Sons would be complete without mention of E-- who at last notice was enjoying three hot and a cot courtesy of the Washington State Department of Corrections.

E-- had a speech impediment. Normally I wouldn't mention this except for the fact that when pressed he spit out the pebbles and became a Demothenese.

The love of his life was L-- and he idolized his son, Michael.

L-- had a friend in Pasco, forty five miles away, when she fought with E-- she would visit her friend. She would call E-- and inform him that she and the friend had only beer in the house and Michael was crying because he had not eaten all day.

E-- would race to Pasco only to find the doors locked and no response. He would rap on the front door and bang on the back door only to be confronted by a policeman summoned by L--.

The first time this happened I drove to Pasco and paid his fine in lieu of a long stay in jail on charges of harrasment.

After that, I told him that if he was dumb enough to bite on her scam again he could sit in jail.

The only problem was that after he had finished his term I rehired him.

He then used a derelict truck I used for transfering scrap around the scrapyard to drive to

Pasco for another confrontation with L--. A Highway Patrol flagged him down about the beat

up machine that violated every rule in the book. He was able to plead a dire emergency and get

away with it.

Eventually, I told him enough was enough. Hewas very vindictive about being sacked and

began a campaign of vandalism against me.

And L--. She became infatuated with Steve. At least once or twice a week around ten in the

evening the doorbell would ring. Steve would hide and a drunken L-- would demand to see

him. I would assure her that Steve had gone to sleep due to a very early morning appointment

and eventually she would leave.

My mother loved to entertain. She was involved at various times with many organizations and she usually ended up as president or board member or both. Those were the days when social occasions involved a lot of smoking by the participants.

My father on the other hand suffered from asthma and was very effected by tobacco smoke.
When my mother would have parties at the house my dad would play host during dinner but as the evening wore on and the smoke haze would thicken he would slip out the back door and drive downtown to the Roxy Theatre where he could sit in air conditioned comfort through a double feature of private eye, "Boston Blackie" plus a Leon Errol or Three Stooges short timing it just right to be on hand to say good night to the departing guests who deeply involved in their card games probably hadn't noticed he had left.

It was a tribute to his love for my mother that each summer in the days before air conditioned cars that he would join her on the drive through sweltering California valleys to attend the District Four convention of B'Nai B'Rith. Mother was active in the local auxillary but she said her real interests were in "the above chapter" level. She was awarded the synecure of historian by the overwhelmingly high powered California group and when a Northwest subdistrict was established she was the first elected president and was reelected to a second term.

Meanwhile, my dad did his part by sitting through the long boring meetings in the smoke filled hot ballrooms.

He did come away with this story which evolved into a family laugh line.

The year the convention was held in Sacremento the organization was able secure the popular governor of the state as a speaker for the final banquet of the session.

As a courtesy they invited the local Rabbi to introduce him.

The Rabbi apparently never having a captive audience of this size before launched into what became a protracted sermon.

Little by little independent conversations began. As the Rabbi droned on, the din began to swell.
The MC started by putting a finger to his lips but this did nothing to help.

Finally he stood up and grabbed his gavel to regain order. In swinging back the gavel he hit the governor square in the forehead knocking him out.

The MC was beside himself. He quickly dipped a napkin in water and started cooling the poor man's brow. As the governor began to come around he beseeched him as to what he could do to make amends.

"Please hit me again. I can still hear him talking."